And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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