Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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