Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
