she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
