i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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