Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
there is glitter all over my balls
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