You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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