What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
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I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
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The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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