none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
