it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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