she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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