there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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