i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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