uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
