what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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