so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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