i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
