if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize