i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
