How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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