Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize