Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
My pussy is not your playground.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
