NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
