she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
