i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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