**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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