A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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