There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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