i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
