Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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