what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
