I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
