I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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