Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
