whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
