then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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