yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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