I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize