She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
