i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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