Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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