if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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