I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
