Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
