I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
