he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize