Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
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Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
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I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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