Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
