if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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