Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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