I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
