He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
