you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize