Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
