I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Let's paint friendship bongs
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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