forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
tequila makes me forget i have legs
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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