Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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