Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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