You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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