Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize