So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
