and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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