He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
