Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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