i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
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