I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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