I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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